It’s me again. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, but somehow every now and then you manage to find your way back into my life. I’ve decided that I can no longer continue to have a relationship with you because you’ve slowly destroyed bits and pieces of me and the person I could have been. You’ve done that since the first day we met, and it’s just now that I’m starting to realize how toxic you are for me. When I first met you I was only 6 years old. I didn’t know any better when I chose you to be my mentor in life. I see now what a drastic mistake that was, as you managed to isolate me from those around me. You’ve robbed me of many friends throughout the years because I never believed that anybody could truly understand who I really was. If they did, you always convinced me of their hatred and disgust for me. You’ve lied to me for most of my life by making me believe that you were sufficient enough for me and that I didn’t need anyone else. You’ve wounded me by teaching me not to cry when inside it’s all I wanted to do. Or at times when I needed to seek out normal human interaction, you held me back. You tricked me into thinking that I was stronger-willed than anyone else, and in the process you tuned me into someone that looks down on those that were weaker than me. You have taught me to dismiss rotten feelings that I’ve felt for myself and to project them onto others. Instead of love, you’ve taught me hate. You’ve made me numb to feelings of sadness or sympathy, and you’ve robbed me of seeing the truth for truth and a lie for a lie. But I’ve come to learn that all the lessons you’ve taught me throughout my life are false. I don’t have to listen to you anymore telling me that the things I have done are un-forgivable. In fact, I’ve discovered the truth, and the truth is that I am fully forgiven for anything that may have taken place before you came along. I stand blameless before a mighty God and He loves me. He loves me in a way that you could never love me. That is why I have chosen Him over you, because from where I’m sitting I can see so much potential, so much goodness for my life. I see the wholeness I can accomplish, feelings I can learn to feel, and love that I can learn to give. Those things were impossible with you. So it is with this letter that I am saying goodbye. Goodbye to your lies, goodbye to your manipulation, goodbye to your dead weight, and goodbye to you.
So long forever,
Alex